**Trigger warning: contains references to suicide**
For World Suicide Prevention Day on the 10th of September 2020, we hear from the Time to Change Wales staff who speak up about why it's so important to end the stigma around suicide so that people can speak out about the help they need. Lowri shares her story of growing up in post-industrial south Wales and the stigma she noticed around a suicide in her village.
My first experience of suicide was when I was around 10 years old. A well-known and popular man who lived in our village took his own life one day in late November. I remember being impacted by the event and something which occupied my mind for quite some time trying to make sense of it all. I had so many questions. I also remember the stigma surrounding his death and how people talked about it, often in hushed tones between members of the community. There was an uncomfortable undercurrent of shame, blame and disapproval for his “selfishness”. I don’t remember any reference made as to how he had struggled nor any mention of poor mental health. Without an understanding of mental health, I had no reference point as to how or why someone would find themselves in this desperate situation. As I grew older, I heard of other people I knew dying of suicide. All of these happened to be men which today I know is no coincidence. Growing up in post-industrial south Wales, I can’t say mental health was something which was talked about openly. I don’t recollect a single conversation in school about it which in today’s society thankfully would be quite unusual. There was a palpable culture of machoism, particularly amongst the boys and men who were expected, as the generations before them had done to just get on with it, often with the only outlet for their emotions being on the rugby pitch or down the pub. When I reflect on this I realise how damaging this was, and how suicide as such an important public health matter was enshrouded in silence and shame. Each incident of suicide shocked me thereafter and created a sense of frustration in me that there must be something which could be done to prevent these devastating losses to families and communities. This frustration has never left me and it’s what led me to dedicate my career to the Time to Change Wales campaign.
"Growing up in post-industrial south Wales, I can’t say mental health was something which was talked about openly."
What motivates me most as part of the Time to Change Wales Team is that our work is never done and there’s always more we could be doing through our campaigning and social contact interventions. Prevention needs to be an ubiquitous and tireless effort taking place across schools, workplaces and within communities. The onus is never on one’s family to prevent it from happening, it takes a holistic and integrated approach from communities, systems and services. By working together I believe we can do better and create the right conditions for change to provide alternatives for those who feel they have no way out. This can often start with a conversation with a loved one or friend and every single one of us can play an important part in this.