**Trigger warning: contains references to suicide**
For World Suicide Prevention Day on the 10th of September 2020, we hear from the Time to Change Wales staff who talk about why it's so important to end the stigma around suicide so that people can speak out about the help they need. Hanna reflects on the stigma around suicide within BAME communities and explains how talking about mental health can save lives.
I’ve never experienced suicidal behaviour, but I know a close friend who’s considered taking her own life due to family stress, financial worries and relationship breakdowns. The sheer volume of stigma that she’s had to endure from members of her own family and community after she reached out for help was shocking and saddening to me. They just didn’t know how to support her and thus dismissed her feelings very quickly. Thankfully, she has since recovered and is now in a much better place in her life, however mental health stigma within BAME communities is still rife and I fear for others who are being made to feel silenced and unimportant, especially in this already challenging climate caused my COVID-19.
Unfortunately, a lot of the mental health stigma that my friend faced was similar to what I was told growing up. From a young age, I was conditioned to never show sadness as it was perceived as a sign of weakness. The phrases ‘you don’t need anyone to talk to’, ‘all you need is yourself’ and ‘you need to be tough and just get on with it’ were typical responses to my cries of distress over the years by those closest to me. I hated those words as it made me feel so dismissed and embarrassed. I hated those words so much so that I subconsciously became introverted and emotionally disconnected from others. I just didn’t want anyone to judge me in that way ever again, so I kept my feelings to myself until I realised that bottling things up was doing a lot more harm than good.
At university was when I started to realise that my feelings mattered. I met new people, made new friends and started a new degree course which came with new responsibilities and eventually, problems.
One day, a friend noticed my sadness and my reluctance to hang out. She asked if everything was fine and I said that it was, scared to say the truth and risk being labeled as incompetent to handle university pressures. I began to vividly remember those stigmatising comments from when I was younger which floated around in my head as a reminder to keep a ‘stiff upper lip’; that was until my friend offered a listening hear, and after telling her my stresses and worries, I broke down. Instead of hearing, ‘you need to be tough and just get on with it’ I heard, ‘it’s ok, it’ll be fine, let me help you’.
I was so relieved to not feel judged and realised that it was just the toxic stigma from others that made me retract from my own feelings. Since then, I made it my mission to educate members of BAME communities to change the culture on mental health and practice compassion and empathy towards yourself and others. Not many people believe that mental health is just as important as physical health, and it’s up to us to raise awareness and educate them.
I am extremely grateful to be working on a campaign that stands for everything I believe in; equality, inclusivity, diversity and confidence. To me, World Suicide Prevention Day not only means suicide prevention, it means mental health stigma prevention, discrimination prevention, prevention of everything that could lead to suicidal behaviour. If we prevent those things from happening, not only will we save lives, but we will become a more compassionate and supportive society.