As the world obsesses over COVID-19, I notice that what was once my source of shame for years is now wide open and being experienced in its paranoid entirety by the world. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, even Exposure Therapy, would have taught many of us living with OCD, that we must embrace the panic as we fight against the handwashing and germ-obsessing which spiral disastrous thoughts. We must stop the cleaning, ritualised thinking, paranoia and rationalise the idea that someone won't die by you not washing your hands.
Well-meaning people would say "Germ exposure is good," or "It never did me any harm". My handwashing obsession was clearly not necessary and certainly not the norm. It appears that anyone having experienced health / contamination type OCD or anxiety for most of their lives are now in the majority. In a sick sense of role reversal, the world now obsesses with us, experiences first hand with us, joins us with our trolley wiping, Dettol spraying, glove / mask wearing, people avoidance, house bound isolation – retracting in horror at every sneeze or cough and spending sleepless nights overthinking about how many people are now potentially infected by it; 1, 2, 20, 100?
In the past, the overwhelming 24-hour duty of keeping everybody safe and my own personal feelings of total responsibility for any negative backlash were mine alone to bare. If anyone wants to understand a little of OCD, well this gives a cracking example!
Some symptoms once interpreted as ‘weird’, ‘odd’ and ‘erratic’ are now the norm. There is no stigma attached to openly wearing gloves, walking alternative routes to avoid people, closing yourself away from the world. Why? Because this is the new normal. In fact, by not complying, you are now the one to feel ashamed, guilty and disgraced for your behaviour.
Of course anyone living with OCD and anxiety will realise thoughts and behaviours linked to mental health conditions are so much more complex than the generalised hand washing, germ avoidance, health anxieties that we are seeing at the moment, but it does give the world a real taste of living with heightened paranoia and its impact on your mental health.
Anxiety, depression and OCD – once viewed so negatively by the masses – are now being replaced by compassion for one another. Email tips bombard on keeping well, sleeping well, eating well, exercising well, mindfulness and self-care strategies. Government is actively financially supporting companies to choose their staff wellbeing over loss of profit. Mortgage companies, utility firms and banks are now being encouraged to support the financial impact of job losses, poor health and economic impact. Universal Credit becomes slightly more accessible – maybe more relaxed – not penalising being out of work due to health reasons, with efforts to speed up delivery. Companies (unfortunately not all) are beginning to show compassion for their staff wellbeing and encouraging morale and wellbeing over targets; messages of support to ‘prioritise you’.
The cause of such a change… A mass international experience which does not differentiate between rich or poor, location, age, ethnicity, religion, gender, ability or identity.
COVID-19 has forced questions to be asked. Topical conversations highlight the under-resourced supplies of the NHS.
"Of course anyone living with OCD and anxiety will realise thoughts and behaviours linked to mental health conditions are so much more complex than the generalised hand washing, germ avoidance, health anxieties that we are seeing at the moment, but it does give the world a real taste of living with heightened paranoia and its impact on your mental health."
It's strange that at a time I thought my OCD would explode. There appears to be a switch in my head. As friends, family, colleagues and neighbours come up with super tips to annihilate germs from every nook and cranny, my own obsessions are starting to wane. A lifetime of unrealistic obsessions to keep others from harm has been lightened by others realising it is not one person’s responsibility but all. Just knowing that I am not alone in this and not single-handedly being held responsible for all the badness in the world has made me feel slightly stronger.
It's fair to say that being on lockdown and thus not driving and having to attend to the chaotic morning routine of screaming kids, balancing work/home life, cooking, cleaning and generally maintaining the tiring responsibility of superhuman expectations, has helped matters in itself. The pace of life has slowed right down. Rather than juggling ironing school uniforms and helping the kids with their homework, I let them relax in PJs and encourage learning through play. Homeworking was complicated until I realised you can only do what you can do. Positive messages from management to stay safe and prioritise you and your family have reduced the self-induced expectations of being superhuman. Are we seeing a worldwide phenomenon of positive change in people’s priorities and behaviour? Are we becoming more compassionate, considerate and accepting of others? Are we embracing the slower pace of life?
Wouldn't it be wonderful to embrace and sustain the positive side of human nature? To encourage work/life balance and prioritise wellbeing over capital profits. To share wealth rather than hoard. To ensure all children grow in a world free of pollution and self-made destruction. To support and understand each other’s needs. To promote inclusion and acceptance, to reach out, to make changes and fight united against discrimination for good. Maybe we can all benefit from this and strive.
My Top 5 Tips on Staying Mentally Healthy:
- Connect via video link and get quizzical with your mates / colleagues / family.
- Change your hair colour (safety test first) – no one is going see it if it goes wrong... I've gone bright purple!
- Get creative with writing / poetry / art.
- Make a list of things you are thankful for.
- Embrace the moment, live in the here and now.