One of the worst things about having anxiety and depression is the arguments that go on in your head.
During one of the darkest periods of my illness I was sat lifelessly in bed, attempting to engage my brain by watching a bit of TV. I had a sudden desire for a cup of tea which inevitably led to me thinking about what I would have to do in order to make one. By the time I had gone through the whole process in my head I felt exhausted and my depression was telling me that it wasn’t worth the effort.
Luckily for me, my ever observant husband sensed that something was wrong and so I explained my dilemma. I was expecting him to either try to encourage me to get out of bed or tell me that he would make one for me. Instead he did something unexpected; he stood up, held out his hand and told me that he would help me make a cup of tea. I’m not ashamed to say that I almost cried with relief because he somehow knew exactly what I needed when I didn’t. I’ve always been fiercely independent so I don’t want to have people do things for me, but fighting against a mental illness takes so much energy which makes it difficult to motivate myself. Plus there is always that fear in the back of my head that one day it will become too much and I’ll just give up.
Having someone there alongside you makes everything less scary because you know they’ve got your back.
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