This Time to Talk Day 2022, Melanie speaks about how important it was to have a friend who listened without judgement when she was struggling with her mental health. However you do it, have a conversation. Talk. Listen. Change Lives.
Every day she wakes up thinking about her yesterday, over and over again. On a daily basis, resentments were building on such things like: why did that person scowl at her across the room? and, why had that person’s tone made her feel less-than everyone at the face-to-face meeting? She remained in bed, recalling the images of her speeding three days prior, now feeling the guilt after having promised she would never drive above the speed limit again. Why was she being super sensitive to other people’s behaviours, and why does she feel justified for driving dangerously - blaming the road works that had delayed her arriving early for her meeting? The more she thought, the greater she felt irritable and discontented.
That morning, she couldn’t think her way out of the maze in her mind. Half of her screamed: ‘You’re an idiot!’ and half of her was in a pity party – ‘Poor her, it’s not her fault, blaming others for her poor mental health’. Frustrated for not knowing the solution as to why she was feeling such sorrow. Then she realised, her depression was upon her. After all the years in therapy, after many learned self-help tips for depression and anxiety too.
She had much to be grateful for too: a loving family, leftover foods in the fridge, enough money in the bank, a car that took her from A to B safely. And yet today, yesterday, indeed being honest with herself, it had been building like this for a week or two, she was restless physically and her scrambled thoughts were exhausting her mentally. She had been disconnecting from the world outside of her bedroom on a daily basis. Today, she was fearful of what might happen next time she went outdoors. Today, Thursday it was a struggle to rise up and out from the comfort of her duvet. Her “why?” remained a mystery she alone could not solve.
Writing down past events often helped to process and reveal what was wrong, but today, she could not push herself to try self-help tips that had worked. Something was different this time. She was stuck. Stubbornly she repeated the same thoughts back and forth, hoping to connect the dots to the cause. Scrambled thoughts with no beginning and no end. She was frightened so she remained in bed, ruminating, jostling with herself. Then she accepted, her depression was upon her.
An hour had passed and still no clear way forward except for one simple suggestion: Ask for help. Her trusted friend who will welcome her call without hesitation. Her cheerful friend who will give her support, confidence, and most of all hope. So, what was preventing her to call? She was ashamed, and stubborn and too proud to admit that she was struggling again. Taking a breath, she sat up in bed and dialled her friend’s number.
Her friend that listened without judgement, without criticism, without interrupting. Her friend that waited as she sobbed. Her friend that thanked her for reaching out and trusting her. She offered comforting words of promise to lift her spirits. Together they spoke on a way forward, towards a place of recovery. Her faith and hope was restored again from talking with her friend that listened.